i just don't belong. the question is, what am i to dmb? just a stupid stupid tenor sax player. like they said, no one's indispensable. i dont ask for anything. i just wish, (i can only wish) i was part of them. one of them. yea, wishful thinking. i know i just transferred in and all, so i prolly don't count. but you know, i had fun and i learned alot.

when my junior, a sec one told me that she thought i was only a sec two, it was like, okay, so i seriously didn't look like i belonged. it actually hurt. though i see my name there on their blog, so what? mentally, i'm not there. i know i'm not there. no one takes me seriously. yes, i admit, i used to hate band, hate waking up so early on a lovely saturday morning doing footdrills. why? cos i sucked at it. i really really couldn't adapt. but slowly, i started to enjoy it somehow. but.. nothing i say will matter anyway. yes, go ahead, pity me. sympathise with me, that's all you can do right? i know, you know, we all bloody know.

i'm not in gsb anymore, yet i'm not really in dmb. what the hell am i doing? i don't get it. i don't belong anywhere. maybe i should just quit and stop trying. i'm really trying, can't you see? oh whatever.

the only one who's there but not really there.